Smile like a tulip you
black hole girl-- I'm guilty of 
Instantaneous Combustion

I'm not going to lie
and tell you that I go
back together like
the pieces of broken plates
my family has sacrificed 
on the red-speckled kitchen floor--
the plates with the blue and yellow
flowers-- those flowers somehow always
so God damn happy--
Don't tell me to smile-- I'm not
your tulip or your Distelfink--
your pink bubble kiss--
I'm not your back seat--
wear the blue gum balls like pearls
and maybe you'll know what it's like 
for planets to fall into themselves--
You think of girl bodies like
black holes but what do you
know about escaping me--
Oh, boy-- I wish I broke like a plate
because we have duck tape for
that-- No--  
I'm not your
metaphor-- your manic pixie
dream girl-body in boy jeans--
You don't take tourism to
the mouth of a black hole--
this is where you learn 
about burning about destruction
and rebuilding yourself--
You aren't allowed to break
that easy like a smile flower dinner plate--
I don't break I burn-- I ignite-- I blaze
I radiate and eat light-- 
If you love me you 
learn to carry buckets of water--
I don't break and I have
never broken-- and don't
ask me about stained glass--
I'm not a halo-- not a Saint Mary
-- this is where the sun sends
her daughter to sleep--
I can't guarantee you won't burn
with me but boy it'll be
real quiet without the distelfinks
testing their voices--
I burned the sheets between
us last night again-- I know
loving me isn't a choice anymore
and the buckets of water are for
you not me-- I don't want a boy
who carries duck tape and tries
to put the pieces of my 
manic-pixie boy jean body 
back together-- I break
 plates on purpose to stop
myself from leaving this spacetime--
I want a boy-girl who knows how 
to stay out past my event horizon--
put out 
the fires in our sheets-- 
I want love to teach you him/her/them
to worship this reconstruction--
this isn't a phoenix this is 
me seducing space time for
my own bed sheets--
Boys always say they want a girl
on fire-- girls always say they 
want a body who can eat a galaxy
and lovers I can do both at the same time--
gender never named me anything
but super-massive and self combustion--
If you want to love me you 
have to break a dinner plate on the
kitchen floor and say
Fuck you flowers for being so
God damn happy! Don't you
tell us to smile-- we eat sunlight 
we shatter tulips
and silence distelfinks.