on obsession 

i have recently discovered
the powering of slamming doors.

maybe i had always known, 
but yesterday it started by accident,

just a desire to shut, a thrust,
the swing behind me,

the rattle of the hinge like 
clenched teeth, the slap of 

wood against the frame, the front
door & its gold knob nose

aching because of me. after
that i had a need to do it more.

you have to understand this 
isn't out of anger, this is a way

of existing. have you slammed
a door lately? i do it whenever

i have the chance. in & out
of my bedroom, the click, 

a mouth with the teeth 
all fallen out. i collect 

molars off the hard wood floor
& slip them back into the frame.

i slam my mouth like a door,
my nose gone golden. 

freshman year of college 
i had a roommate who would 

shut the door loud again 
& again late into the night.

i thought she was insane,
in the dark i pushed my eyes 

shut as she threw the door,
the thick heavy door, banging our 

box of a room. i understand her
now, i think. i want to ask her 

what it felt like to stand 
outside in the dorm room hall

pushing the door again & again.
had she been angry? had she just 

needed to feel real? i understand
i do. i wish she would had 

shown me then so i could
get it out of my system young. 

i can't stop now.
i try to find a new door each day,

ambling up to strangers houses
& asking politely if i can open 

& shut their front door.
each type of wood, each house 

has a different pleasing sound.
i lay in bed shutting my mouth

like my roommate once shut that door.
again & again, i collect 

the teeth from my pillow
& put them back in.