killifish

feed me baby spoon swallows
of dioxin/ PCB 
jars in my throat
i'm here to talk to 
the killifish
to open all my fingers
& have them swim between
knots of yellow 
glinting scales
mouthful of minnow
the gulf of my blood where
they dump all the bad stories
killifish have evolved 
to survive the bay's deadly toxins
their deformed hearts
like salted strawberries
bodies all see-through 
in the eggs
i ask to be be see-through
& soft like that
let the chemicals 
play with my genomes
i want to mutate
with them
thrive in their strangeness
this is the only option left
as far as i can tell
so i talk to them
i nestle in their muck
the ocean 
all yellow with hand lotion 
plastic bottles float 
by & the killifish say
someday we will gnash plastic too
someday there will be
nothing we can't turn into body
clumps of their vein blue eyes 
never blink
stare louder
i cup my hands to catch 
killifish, open to 
let them dart away
they shriek with evolution
they call me 
drowning monkey 
i cut gills in my neck 
to prove them wrong
i say 
i'm one of you
i'm one of you