a need for ghosts

i make each cupboard
into a spirit cabinet:
a matrix of pulleys & strings,
nested with musical instruments 
ready to play themselves:
a mandolin, a guitar, a violin--
what can't be done when a string
is pulled taut? the ropes
are pulled tight around my wrists 
& i tell you to load me into 
the spirit cabinet just like 
traveling performers did in 
black & white photograph times
when people would pay with coins
to try & see a spirit. tied up
under the sink i count backwards
to thirteen & close my eyes
so as to not make eye contact.
the spirits come with their hands 
full of static & knuckles--
so many knuckles all brushing
up against my skin. i tell them 
nothing, you can't give them 
anything to hold onto or they'll take 
you with them to the other side
where the ghosts spend all
day looking for cabinets to 
talk to. i imagine a field of 
purple flowers & these ghosts all
just pacing, 
looking down at their feet
& thinking about instruments. 
i stocked each cupboard with
it's on instrument, a trumpet 
below the sink, a drum by the fridge
& in the one i'm crouched in,
a handful of kazoos. the spirits
try & play the kazoo but give up,
disliking the sound-- too silly. 
they hoped for a cabinet with 
something heavier to knock on--
a guitar maybe to strangle with 
sadnesses. insert the sound
of a harp. i want to talk 
to the spirits but that's never
been the point of the spirit cabinet.
the point is to crawl out again 
& show whoever is with you 
that your hair is messed up 
& the instrument sounds they heard
from outside could not have been
your doing, what with your hands
bound up & all.  
you open the door & i wriggle out.
noting my ruffled hair & clothes 
you, of course, believe in ghosts 
just like i believe in ghosts.
maybe you know that it's just
a machine-- that the ropes
work the instruments & the ropes
tussle my hair. after all, you
saw me installing the systems
in each cupboard where we once
kept dry foods-- 
we gutted the kitchen for this.
then again we both know 
that we need ghosts in this house,
we need a spirit with knuckles
willing to touch our faces.
we need instruments played by strings 
& wires. i ask you if 
you want to get inside next
& you say "no, why don't
you go again." so i do,
i knock twice, as if to ask
the spirits to enter &
i crawl inside a different 
cupboard while you watch
from a chair at the kitchen table.