nectar 

we ask the automaton
for oranges-- touch each 
mechanical fruit before
it clinks back into tin blossom,
imagine squeezing 
loud metallic juice--
juice turning back into a bloom.

if i called you "device" 
would you understand 
what i mean?

they used to make machines like this
to perform acts of wonder.
a wind-up key in my mouth. 
the orange tree with the key twisting
in its roots & a crowd
hoping it will ripen for them.

i built the orange tree
just to ask it whether or not 
it considers itself alive. i invite 
other people to come & watch,
all sitting in the quiet living room,
orange tree at the center.
no one talks because they want to hear
the tree's ticking.

i pour tap water 
on the carpet. 
the tree doesn't seem thirsty
so i make a milkshake &
tilt the straw towards the orange tree.

winding it up again
my guests all lean in,
they know the routine--
which bud will bloom first 
which orange will be fullest 
with illusion nectar. 

i ask the tree again 
if it's alive & it seems 
to laugh with its clicking
as if to say 
who's to say?
or 
why are you asking me?

after the guests leave
i'm left alone with the machine
staring at me. i want to be
in a state of perpetual wonder.
i put the key in my mouth
& wind up. yes please
let me be the orange tree
i want to be metal & marvelous--
i want to grow the same
fruit over & over.

the key does nothing though 
& so instead i wind the tree
up again this time just 
for myself & i ask
as a whisper
are you alive then?

only this time 
i'm not asking 
the tree