brush strokes 

God asks the angels 
if they've tried painting sunsets.
he says that everyone feels like this
sometimes that everyone needs
to practice a little self-care.
he hands out packets of dollar-store paint brushes
& explain how anytime before dusk 
an angel can press their brush to the sky
& make nice gentle sideways strokes.
God suggests the colors orange
pink & yellow. he suggests bringing along
a buddy to paint alongside of. he suggests
not trying to be too creative,
that the point of the sunset isn't to be creative
but to inspire calmness among the angels 
& the people down below. 
the angels recently have been feeling useless. 
they watch horrible things happen among people.
they curl up in the dirt & let weather fall
all over them. they ask the moss to grow
& shroud them from sun. they ask each other
to remove their own wings one feather
at a time. they want to be mortal.
they want to know this will end. 
some come to paint the sunset,
weeping as they draw a brush across
the skyline. some use unauthorized colors,
they say that there is no way to paint 
the end of a day without adding blue
or purple. the blues & purples are 
cathartic because they are heavy
& they bleed into all the other colors.
one angel asks another 
would you miss me if i fell from here?
the other hold onto the him tight & says 
of course we would all miss you,
never say that.
don't tell people that you 
want to fall from the top of 
a building. 
tell everyone that sunsets make
you feel so much better.
the angels want to know 
if the sunsets actually help 
human so one comes & asks me. he stands
in the door way of my bed room 
& startles me. he gestures
to come look out the window.
above the tops of the houses
i admire a great watercolor sunset.
the angel asks me if it makes me
feel any better. i can't 
tell him the truth. his wings 
are matted & he has dark circles
under his eyes. i lie. i say
of course, yes. all the humans 
wait for the sunset. each day they're
somehow more beautiful.
the angel weeps & thanks me.
i weep & thank thank the angel.
he tells me i should also
get some paints like he has.
i tell him i will
even though i know i won't. 
on the news another mass shooting
happens in a library this time.
on the news there's a fire eating 
every single tree. the fire has 
sunset colors. i turn the television off
but the news bubbles up on my phone
i go to look at the sunset
& try to find brush strokes.