another night

a sleeping bag crawls out the back door
of my boyfriend's house. we were swallowed
in its stomach. comfort & zipper. waddling
to the edge of the yard where 
the dying pine tree dropped limbs 
& needles. inside like the shell 
of a snail. the spiral of an ear whirling deeper
into the night. i loved him enough to make
every bad decision. 
here take my skin in exchange
for clothe. here take my teeth in exchange for 
a zipper. his hands as my shoulders. a mash 
of bone & bone. the sleeping bag nudging us 
to give over & fall deeper into the cool
black-blue earth. a kind of bruising. 
the dull press
of a thumb over top of the moon to keep it hush.
this happened each time i slept over--
the feral sleeping bag writhing in the closet 
& then sneaking out to get us-- 
scoop us from
the bed & make off with us. he snored &
it shook each strand of hair. i tried to fill
his mouth with anything: 
socks, flowers, a fist. 
in the sleeping bad the snoring felt like 
it was coming from inside my body. 
rattling. aching. 
how do you collect your body?
the cool deep backyard telling us we needed
to get a bus & run away. i'd wake him up
& he'd say the sleeping bag again?
i'd take out my pocket knife 
to slice us out.
like skin though the bag would heal. i would
pull him free & he'd say that these kinds
of things wouldn't happen if we were married.
all this strangeness was because we were 
running out of something. i found gold rings
under my tongue each morning i swallowed 
rather than tell him. i knew it was
coming undone. 
there he was another night
crawling into the sleeping bag by himself
as if he wanted to be carried away 
to the edge of the neighborhood
just so i would save him. the open window.
the cool night leaking in like water. 
his fingers gripping the zipper & speaking
softly to the device. him saying
please capture us i need her i need her.
how one will make alliances with objects
if necessary. 
swallowing a ring in my mouth.
getting used to the taste of metal.
the limbo between love and fear of
being alone. asked if he would ever try
& eat me & he promised me he wouldn't so 
i said good & the sun bled into 
the room so yes of course the sleeping bag
crawled back into the closet 
& of course we got up 
& put ourselves together 
in the same bathroom mirror.