several attempts at stillness 

slugs can make fine earplugs 
if you're craving silence
& there's nothing else in sight.
sometimes i feel the whole town inhale
& never exhale. i walk around for hours
trying to coax the breath out.
i once tried filling my skull
with moss. another time
i poured warm milk into an open ear.
there are places where sound
cannot reach like the basement 
& the trunk of the right car.
everything is a wavelength 
even purple. this is the extent 
of my science knowledge. 
my chemistry teacher junior year of high school
was a man with too much silence
echoing around him so he took it out
on girls like us. his mouth would open
& radium would come out. a quiz 
floating down onto a desk. 
i am still bitter about every time
someone has been cruel to me.
i keep track of them in a loud notebook.
one day, i will put the notebook
in the ocean 
& let the fish seek out revenge for me.
i am not a quiet person. there are 
yellow birds perching on each rib.
they bicker all night so i eat seeds
to try & calm them. the morning 
in the loudest time if you're someone
with the right ears. this is why 
i'm always trying new barriers.
a class ring in my throat.
a necklace in my right ear. there must
be something sturdy to block the world out.
a good firm door means nothing
in this life. a car is driving up the street
so so early. a car is always driving.
at least one to keep the rotation 
of the earth. before cars there were bison. 
in a few years this house will be so full
of books. everything one big noise.
i tell the birds to take a flight
without me.