cer/vix

listen to your body
with the sea-shell hushing.
doctor men the size of ants 
climb my spine like a staircase.
you are invited to the party 
of concave & convex lenses.
i'm trying to narrow the image.
to see the world like my secrets might.
pry the third eye open like a walnut.
who rides & who is ridden 
in the stirrup kingdom. once i was
just a noble artifact & everyone
called me "sir" to my face.
now i go butter in the wind. i eat
with my bare hands & no one 
mistakes me for a gentle
man. i take my face off & dust 
the lining. wipe grime from grin lines.
everyone has a personal threshold
they are approaching or moving away from.
the doctor asks hot or cold?
he wants to know if he's getting close.
with my disposable camera 
i used to snap glimpses of god. 
blurred bright light coming
from a hole in the wall. glory 
to the gash where the birds forget 
their throats. could we take 
an endeavor all the way down to where
the sand turns to sugar? 
i have been giving all my syrup
to strangers. one man made a circle
with his fingers & his thumb
& said put it right here. i inserted
the baby blue easter egg. 
they find nothing but loose change
inside me. the closet exhaled
with relief & i look for websites
where i can give away my staircase.
rent it out to a nice girl
who might need that kind of flesh.
no. no takers. i'm too manic 
for my organs to be toolshed.
believe me when i say i didn't want
to have the doctors stay the night
but they told me they weren't done
so i made them doll beds.
i couldn't sleep with all their 
sleep-talking. one said apricot
& another replied she's not a girl.