sea shell

i want to give my mom the ocean.
we eat meatloaf in heaven & all the animals
are sea animals. i found my gills in a trash can
& every day i have looked back like orpheus
into the mouth of the could-have-been.
this new life is made of glass. this new life
is full of rice noodle windows. i eat my way
through sadness & find more sadness
on the other side. shot-gun is where future lives.
begs to go home. if only i had enough money to buy 
the biggest sea shell in the world. 
she could live in it. we all could.