blood bath

i go into the meat grinder
as a cherub. my thighs
like tulip worlds. all i want
is a future where no one
turns into a pinwheel.
there you are just an inch
in front of my & i am holding
on to our life by the scruff.
eating grits right from the tube.
i wash my hands & the sink water
is blood. no one else can see it.
the man in the corner
tells me i am not long
for this world. i bring him
hard candies & ask if he can
grant me one wish. that you 
live like a stained glass window.
god all of your futures 
like pillowcases. i don't need much
you say as you take the largest
bite you can. i want to shake you
& say, "need more." a book i read
cautions me against excess.
i do not want to be cautioned. i want
someone to convince me to do
all the terrible things. i want
someone to blame for the way
my bones fall apart & refuse 
to speak the language they used to.
i fight a cloud. i fight a parking garage.
my hands are stained from
strangling a gushing tree.
let the rose bush throb all she wants.
this is not for her. this is not even
really for me. this is for you.