veal

i want a childhood to fall off the bone. 
in my toy chest i have a rope 
& a fire. i go out to the field
to warn everyone. their dinner plates
buzzing in their guts. like the calves,
i was made to be slaughtered
if not biblically then through the process
of holy machines. there are not enough
bolts to blank out the brains of 
every single ghost. instead, they walk.
bridle & blood worms. angry dandelion. 
i bark at the sun until he is a witch too.
let's not forget the feast. rose scented skin.
glass dining halls. a napkin tapped 
on a lip. i did not swallow the nails,
i hammered them into the wall 
of my bedroom. used them to climb
onto the ceiling & call out to the mother.
electric fence crown. holy bovine
& split hoof. i am the animal child 
who does not die. i am piecemeal
& butchered. bone crawling back
to a source. what does my yielding taste like?
& you thought i would just hang by my feet. 
i return to the field that never was 
& dance there, everyone's head on fire.