stage slap

the trick to making a slap look real
is the sound. we want flesh 
crashing flesh. the spot lights
always turned me into a ballerina
without feet. i tried to live
off pin cushions & flowers. i was always
fighting my hair. trying to put it up
but then it would go & turn into rodents:
ferrets especially but sometimes
a flock of mice. have you ever seen swarm?
i have & when there's a hoard 
of heartbeats all you can do 
is stand back. i practiced by 
destroying telephone poles
& sometimes men in dad clothes.
tuned the sound to be perfect.
a girl in an alley way. a girl 
on a fire escape. a girl in a blender.
"what is she going on about?"
taking the old teeth out
one by one & replacing them
with match box cars. don't get me wrong
i prefer the real thing. i like
my gender to be red & throbbing
from impact. we must make do.
we have to show them 
what they came to see which is
a binary of slapped vs. not. 
we have to convince them we've
been hit. crumpled like a tissue.
i wipe the nose of gods. they always ask
too many questions. "did you feel it?"
the answer of course being yes.
i always feel it. choreographed or not.