memorial

there aren't enough.
i go down to the quarry 
& gather piles of shale.
once, as a child,
we made a worm graveyard.
said elegies for the necklaces of hearts
smashed under foot.
then, watched as the weeks after
it's construction the stones
slumped & then fell.
the graveyard became 
a video game. the sky outside
had leather shoes & a briefcase.
i hate procedures & every impulse
to legislate love poems.
i do not want to follow
a guide. i want to kick god's teeth out.
i want to carry a shovel
into my life. dig wherever 
the bodies come. in offices 
& at grocery stores. in the parking lot
of a dead toys r us, we kissed
& talked about malls.
a mall is a worm graveyard.
so is a highway & so are most
gas stations. i do not want 
to have to make tangible 
every memory. someday we will
live in a time so just 
that we will walk, dreamily,
& not have any reason to hold on.
each day like a silk scarf.
a spilled bowl of ice cream.
lifting a spoon to your lips. 
for now, we have to made hard candy 
of every wound. let the light
shine through it red & orange
& green. this is not a gem.
this is not sugar. this is scab
as a stained-glass window.