library of picture shows

i go to make a video of my phantom face.
walls move like centipede stories.
i don't write poems about gods 
i write poems about secrets. about
where the seams fray & on the other side
are monks. let's be devotees 
to the land of elsewhere. to the fallen angels 
& their pomodoro method 
for completing their assigned tasks.
i eat with my hands. i carry a gun i do not know
how to load or use. up the street
there are flocks of white men 
who i am terrified of. i want to put them
all in pale yellow to make them slightly
less threatening. do you know if you
paint your bedroom red you will only dream
of bees? i tried their & became a keeper.
ate nothing but honey until the world
re-opened. neon bible. neon open sign
that comes back to the window
of my house. i always have to remove it
& burry it, knowing it will come back.
i do not want visitors. i want to watch
a movie with the laugh track on. 
the movie is not funny but it also is
in the way that all picture shows are funny.
here is a man pretending to be a man. here is
a giraffe who is also an actor. i take you
to the attic & show you my girlhood
i still keep just in case. you never know
when you might not want to be yourself. 
here is a video too of me turning into 
a glove. isn't she terrifying?