puppy

puppy is a place you go when you
need the strawberry life. when you crave
an open wound to make a cake in. 
i have been the puppy & i have visited
the puppy like a pilgrimage 
& other times like a confessional.
puppy is the yarn ball unspooled. followed
to the mouth of a felt cave. the candle 
hovering just above your head. a tongue of flame.
a lost tooth in the gravel. there are fish tanks
of puppies & puppies in frames. 
i gave a puppy away once to a boy
who didn't deserve it. i said, 
"we can still be friends" after he turned
my face into a punch bowl. invited his friends.
they were all kissing strangers in the hallway.
i said, "excuse me, excuse me." 
the puppy got loose. the puppy got
a choke collar. we took the puppy to 
the doctor & the doctor looked just like
all bathroom men. i put my puppy
in my purse so i could sneak her into
a tornado room. it was just a simulation 
or so i was told. sometimes you pay
just to hear your name in the mouth
of a puppy. leash & licorice. jumping rope
on his back. a puppy in the glove box. 
i tell the puppy, "hold your breath"
as the cop sniffs for puppies. 
he says, "no puppies here" because
he's useless at recognizing joy. 
from now all i just keep them to myself.
the minute you start sharing the puppy
is the minute it becomes what someone else wants.
i pet my little salvation. she chases her tail
& so do i. i promise her, 
"we will never try to meet god."
she eats honey from a holy in my hand.