chocolate gramophone 

i sold my last noise
to a passing wolf.
he had a use for it. he wanted
to call his lover from past the veil.
i wanted to speak chocolate
all my life. open my mouth
& have the truth come out
bitter & smooth. i used to dance
to my father's records. he put his hands
in the attic & everyone was safe.
i no longer want to be myself.
i want to be someone 
no one dislikes which is to say
i do not want to be alive or dead.
let's call this a waltz then. i mean truly
i have no idea what a waltz even is.
probably it involves swaying 
& someone you want to elope with.
i carry you into the tangerine winter.
snow falls. the snow is not snow. 
it is chocolate as are my eyelashes.
as are our melting birds. 
put that song on that neither of us
can name anymore. it goes something
like the collapse of a face. 
conch shells in the yard. do you think
the first person to listen to the ocean
just fell inside the sound's mouth?
god i hope they are still there, floating.
i don't get sick of eating fury.
snakes sun themselves 
on our house's steps. i bring them
shards of mirror to feast.
in doing so i'm asking them
if they have tried 
the most bitter dark chocolate.
they shake their heads. i say,
"you haven't lived until you do."