rehoming

i am in a facebook group
for people trying to rehome 
their pets. it is a flock
of all kinds of hungers.
each post, somewhere between saint card
& elegy. one post is written
in the second person
to the dog. the women concludes,
"i'm so sorry we couldn't keep you."
how many times
i have lived inside those words.
too big for every mouth
i've ever stood in.
once, we considered posting
our dog in the group but decided
we couldn't do it. we told her
"we will not be perfect
but we will hold on." i am not sure
though if to be kept 
is to be loved. on tiktok
i watch a news segment fragment
about a new wave of people
rehoming their children. 
there are facebook groups for that too.
posts with children
in all kinds of poses just like
the dogs & the cats.
what kinds of searching
happen there? the horrible
& the terrified & the lost.
i wish facebook groups
were physical rooms. all the people
standing there, holding 
their pets & their children,
saying, "i do not want this heart."
the panic in their voices.
what if to be kept is not 
to be loved? then, what do we make
of the escape? i know how i felt
when our dog bit me.
the blood & the stiches. 
i told no one the truth. not the doctors 
or our friends. a secret between
us & her mouth. what if though
to be kept is to be loved?
then, how do i explain 
all the times i have been
rehomed? sometimes on my own
volition & other times because
the sky was raining knives 
& i needed somewhere to hid.