portal

sometimes i uploaded my green teeth
using the library wifi. that summer
was the longest of my life. i used a pairing knife.
to dissect myself on camera. sometimes
it felt good. the skin & the muscle.
other times it felt like
being the butcher's cow diagram.
i pinned a blue bedsheet against the wall
& called it a studio. we filmed dinosaur movies
& flicks about love. once in the middle
of pulling my hair out one strand
at a time, i found a tick on my flesh.
he was drinking greedily. it is a little easier
when there is a portal between you 
& the sucker. i met in parking lots & behind
the fresh moon. once at a man's house 
where he had no chairs. we hovered
above the ground. the next day, he bought
all my videos. i ate from his hands. i was
a snake in deer's clothing. once someone left
a comment that read, "i love it when
it feels like she's waiting for me."
i do not know who is watching from
another solar system & if they have ever
used a spoon like this. i bought a table
using his good money. filled my mailbox with
birds. they just kept coming. the nights started
to get colder. gooseflesh. a knock on a hollow door.
the portal, always threatening to collapse 
& then there would be a room filled
with my flesh. a smokehouse. the round sun 
on his knees. i stuck my hand through 
a hole in the wall & reached.