black pearls

i don't want to go home yet.
bite down on me until
i turn glossy & iridescent.
we drive with the headlights off.
i lie & tell you my house 
is tucked behind the moon.
let's keep going. the more we drive
the closer i get to telling someone the truth. 
i don't want to be crushed under
the tongue of this terrible down world.
i want a jeweler to pierce 
my throat. to hang me to
the neck of a mistress. we talk in lists.
of all the new horrors & the old
& how they both dance 
on a stage of teeth. i have started 
burying televisions. i google,
"what is martial law." i know
what it means but i want a machine
to say something different.
what if we were safe? what if 
instead of flesh we were born
of salt water & sand? sweet little
memory of a wonderful rain. 
when you pull over the chickens
call out in the dark. our eyes
like black pearls in the waning moon's
wild light. i think i could make
amazing earrings. i think i could
next time maybe tell you about 
how often i spend days 
the size of an eye lash. why 
are the people who are supposed
to love me always the first to
part the bivalve's lips. 
knife in the dark. you ask,
"what do you want me to do?"
i want to say, "stay. let's keep going.
drive until we reach an ocean."
instead, i admit the truth.
"i don't know how to fix this."