good boy

you eat my face off & i ask,
"how would you like the stars?"
we buy a ghost online hoping
it'll fix us. all it does is weep.
you blame me. you say,
"if i bought a ghost i would make sure
it was a good one." i want him
to be right. i find him in the upstairs.
he is opening & closing the door.
i tell him, "all we need is a little
haunting. something to make us
need each other." he doesn't want to
& i cannot blame him. instead,
we make cookies & i tell him about
how i do not know how to love
without destroying myself.
he does not have advice but it is
such a relief that someone knows
besides me. most of the time i feel
like i have whole planets inside me
that no one else sees. i guess that is
just consciousness. when i try
to tell you the truth all that comes out
are toads. they are beautiful but 
they are not what i mean to say.
i put the ghost to bed & return to you.
you say, "did you return him?"
i lie & say, "i did." you say, "good boy."
i eat my stars from a bowl & 
they taste like knots. i am trying
to regrow my hair. if i do i am thinking
maybe i could sell it & buy another ghost.
one that you would like. one that
would make us happy. me holding
you & asking, "did you see that?"