animal sleep

i go sleepwalking with the bears.
they mistake me for one of their own
& i get far into the mountain. we will
probably have to eat bugs in the future
when everything crumbles
& we get all survival mode.
i am okay with it as long as they
taste kind of tangy. i google "do bugs sleep?"
& discover they actually invented sleep.
there was a little locust who thought,
"the world is too beautiful
to stare at all the time." i scream at the moon.
i smash flies with my thumb & wipe off
their lives like question mark dots.
i sent my doctor a message through
the portal which sounds more magickal
than it is. i ask him if there's any way
he could get me to sleep like a dog.
i watch my pugs sleep & they know
what it really means to dig a hole 
& go dark. i don't think i've ever 
been as heavy as them while they
are asleep. i tell the doctor i could settle for
the sleep of a cat if the dog is too hard.
he does not respond. he blocks me.
the portal crashes & starts speaking bird.
i hate the bedroom. i always have. 
in my favorite apartment my bedroom
was nothing but a bed on the floor. 
yeah yeah i know what they say about boys
is true. it's my gender showing. i miss
that place so much it hurts. the quiet
was so thick & velvety. i slept beside the dogs
& when it snowed none of us had ears.
the layers dampened even the sound
of the sun. all i heard were crystals 
telling me, "close your eyes."
i shut them tight. press on the pupils
until i see a volcano. i bursts & turns
all of us into statues. i don't mean to be
so doomsday. i'm trying to mentally prepare
myself for no longer being able
to sleep. what will i do with my wakefulness?
the bears will turn around. notice i am
not one of them. eat me & when
they're done, feed my bones to the moon.
that is how she stays glowing & white.