herpetology

the farther i get away from mammals the better.
i lay eggs with fists inside them. 
wet my skin in the moon's hairy light.
slip into the still water of a family picture.
in our cold-blooded world, there are no gods. there is no
paperwork. instead, we spend our time
crawling inside each other's mouths.
our nesting doll species. i count the scales 
on a lover's back. i am visited my mice who
tell me, "they want you to return." i pretend
i do not understand their language.
wriggle deeper into the damp dark of a rotten stump.
pluck strands of sunlight to keep myself alive.
we look forward to the winter. some of us die.
some of us freeze in the mud. dream in the thickest way
possible. i have seen colors there are no words
to hold. i meet an alligator version of ancestors. 
eat until i am a planet. when i wake up i do not feel
that mammalian dread that i used to. i would wake
& beg the dark for a few more hours. 
a cracked window. crust around my eyes.
the extra chamber of the heart, a little guest room
for all the grief. now, i am hairless. i am electric. i move 
with the water. it rains & all of us go to celebrate.
the snakes & the salamanders & the toads & the frogs. 
breathe deep the sound of rot & moss. 
i am never going back. i am never going back.