fire ants 

this week i have thought 
way too much about my 
high school boyfriend. he had 
long thin fingers & he was three years
older than me. we come upon 
a colony of fire ants & i remember 
how once he called me screaming—-
he begged for a water slide or else
a place to de-bone. he had stepped
on a fire ant hill beside his
grandparents pool in florida.
i didn’t know how to help him
& so i just screamed too. 
all of this makes me think
of the lives i am living 
right now in other peoples heads. 
if maybe when he sees a wild snake 
he thinks of me. i wanted 
to impress him. show him how
i was unafraid of venom or
scales. once i caught one
beneath the bridge by his house. 
the mushroom fields were cooking
near by & so the air smelled like
sweet manure & dark. the snake writhed
just like me. his parents weren’t home
that day. my body was a jungle gym
for the boy world. i think of him
not like a lover but like a species. 
i talked to him only once 
years after we broke up. it was 
over facebook. i deliberately do not
remember what we said. there are 
more ants than people by
a long shot. i stop to stare 
at one fire ant hill 
on a street corner in a town
i’ve never been before. all the ants
are screaming. i do not know
who i am on the phone with.