mirror zoo

to get a ticket you just have
to give a secret. i tell the person
at the window, "i usually have
to trick myself into being in love."
he laughs & says, "that's not a secret."
i become unsure of what might count
& so i offer more, "i lie sometimes
to get myself out of becoming a giraffe." 
that satisfies him so i get to enter
the mirror zoo. another rule
with the zoo is that you are not allowed
to enter with anyone else. that might
contaminate your experience.
the mirrors are roaming. grazing.
tiny mirrors. huge mirrors. a mirror
with a sign around its neck
that reads, "mirror in under care of a veterinarian."
i consider how i have never taken
my own mirror to see a doctor. 
what would they be able to do any way?
my favorite spot is the pond of mirrors.
there are tiny machines along the edges
where you can buy trinkets 
to feed to them. i spend a quarter
& receive a tiny monopoly shoe.
gift it to the closest & most eager mirror.
the secret that i did not give the teller
was that i do not know if i have ever
seen myself. i have purchased up-close mirrors 
& spent the night with men who had
mirrors for eyes. they liked to look 
at themselves while they turned 
into soup bones. i go to the zoo in the hopes
that one day a mirror will give me something
fresh & brilliant. a vision of my skeleton 
without all the drums & the pyres. 
instead, i see my father's face. my mother's hair.
my grandmother's eyes like soft brown rocks
sinking in a river. the mirror swims away
with my gift in her mouth.