lost & lost

i am proposing a cabinet beyond
the lost & found where we can put
our teeth when they no longer
fit in our skulls. where there is no 
looking backward & instead we make 
new futures where no one 
has to be on fire. i am sibling to the 
orphaned mitten & the charging cable
once plugged into a breakup machine. 
mother to the acorns who could not 
figure out how to sprout & the eggs
who went rotten in the coop. 
we can call it the lost & lost. like a zoo
that you can only enter if you too have
been left behind. maybe that is
a museum. i do not know if you can
be lost & alive. i do not know if
you can be in a museum & alive.
i could be a keeper of this place.
collect our kin. maybe then we could
get to work becoming as lost as we can
possibly be. for me, lostness has been
a way of life. it is where i go to feel
massive & free. i do not want 
to meet the version of myself who used to
be able to give the billboards what
they wanted. who used to find myself
in taffy shop windows. last night when
you yelled at me, afterward i went
to the lost & lost. it was so quiet & soft.
i thought, "i wish i would have brought
a trowel with me." i wanted to get deeper.
i never mean to leave. i am hoping
that one day i am determined enough
to stay lost. that my body becomes
a broom, leaning in the corner & 
i go so far away that all i hear is snow.