seed eating 

in the garden i hover palace-like
without any arms. you tell me i am
the snake but there are no apples
& no gods to be seen. i love snakes.
i think they know what's going on
& so they tie themselves into knots
all winter. i do not know what i want
& so i swallow someone who does. 
when i lived in the city i saw winters
as tabs to dissolve on the tongue.
feel better feel magical. the goats have
built a ladder to heaven. there is 
a party tonight that i am not invited to
& that's okay (i tell myself). i am hoping
that someone looks around & notices
i am missing. the cold warning does not
warn me. i buy firewood from 
a gap in the universe. the coyote brought us
fire or was it the raven or was it the spider.
i love the part of the story where
the animal look at us & think,
"they are so sad & cold." i wish we didn't
think of ourselves as superior. i mean 
if you really think about it, the birds
have it made. they fly & they love
& then they become pillars of salt. 
the bible is not that well written. if i redid it
i would probably choose to start with 
the cross & tell it backwards. then it becomes
the story of a god receding into darkness.
in my dream last night i never passed
fifth grade. i am a child & an adult 
at the same time. everyone things i am in
the wrong place. i don't have my schedule.
i go to everyone & they drop seeds 
into my hands. they say, "eat." i realize
then that i am dirt. a lovely plot.
soon to be sunflower or gourd. i open
my mouth for the bloom. pick it for you.
put it in your hair & lay down. 
water me. water me & wait.