ear candles in the blue dark

it was a horrible time when i went shopping
for ear candles. the moon was on fire.
i watched babies fall from the sky.
tried to pick up their pieces. handed them
to passersby. no one was okay but 
we all went to work. i would have
to look for my eyes, the little beetles,
each morning because they would crawl
to hide beneath the cool belly of stones 
in the yard. sometimes i had to spent
the whole day with just one eye. 
it was good enough. it was more than some
people had. i saw an ad on the hungry machine
advertising ear candles. i watch a woman
lay sidewards as a man lit her. i have
on occasion put a wick in my mouth
& used my body like wax. this was different.
a little exorcism. ear wax plumbed & released.
i imagined how good it would feel
to have someone removed for one instead
of added. i watched videos. i went to stores.
i bought hundreds of them. blue ear candles
& organic ear candles & laughing ear candles.
of course, before i did i googled more
about them. ear candles do not remove anything.
in fact, sometimes the wax from the candle
drip down into your skull. i wanted to weep.
i had wanted them so badly. in the morning 
before the first blush of the sun
i put one in between my lips & walked
like a zombie through the fallow corn field. 
nothing left me. instead, i was filled with
the sound of a drone overhead. my shadow 
danced around me. i still tried just one ear candle.
closed my eyes. pretended that it saved me.