skin care routine

i take my skin out of the closet &
brush the seal fur in noon-time light.
golden sun. my body is ancient.
is a pray from the water to the sky. 
there is no ocean near where i live
so it is hard to keep the selkie in me alive.
i feed her mussels & clams. i feed her 
gold stolen for neighbor's jewelry boxes. 
the body is not hungry, it is made of hungers.
give me wind & salt. give me a language 
without gods.
i lay in the bath with my body inside
my body. once you almost caught me. 
you jiggled the door handle to the bathroom.
the only rule of being a selkie is that
no one can know you're a selkie. 
i am not sure what would have happened
if you had intruded. found me there,
half boy-girl half seal-creature. maybe 
that is how selkies are born. maybe you
would have become one too. a parable 
of loneliness. to be seen is to 
be swallowed or else to become
a part of the other's eye. a piece of your spirit
leaving as a flock in the water. i managed
to slip out of my skin though 
& you waited until i opened the door.
the skin was wet as a sopping towel
wadding up in the corner. how did you 
not see it? i was so afraid. how could i explain
all the years of my hiding. 
you were furious. understandable. 
i am prone to secrets. the room smelled animal.
you asked if i was alone. i said "yes" 
of course. you knew i was lying but about what you
were not sure. i offered for you to join me
in the bath, knowing you would not
instead, you shut the door slowly.
i lowered myself in my human skin
into the water. waited still for a long time
before i pulled the seal back on. 
when i am done i always pat the flesh dry. 
i have learned i start to smell if i leave the skin
all brine & bath. i fold my seal skin
as if it's just a coat & not a whole part 
of my body.