questions for the red winter berries

who taught you to be loud in the dark?
i am struggling to know when & how loud
i should be. this summer has felt
like winter. i cannot explain it. where did
all the birds go? the sun, like a raisin
on the other side of the moon. do you 
talk to each other? plan your color?
or is it a natural impulse towards 
another life? you ring like sirens.
i watch every year as the birds come & find you in
the midst of the dry wood. i am not sure
how you manage all alone. a flock of color.
i hope to live like that. open my mouth
for the birds. blare when the days are short.
do you feel like a martyr or a prophet?
or is this sound more mundane? a dropped bucket.
the garbage truck lumbering down 
our winding road. i have lost track of 
the years i have gone without breathing.
when you are born, are you already thinking
about winter? i try to put it out of my head
even when that air arrives from all sides.
when i was younger there were so many
playgrounds. now, they feel like self portraits.
red berries in their hair. i am growing
my face out in the hopes that my beard
can grow a thorn bush. i want to keep
the teeth people away & invite all the birds
i know to take a bite.