solve for x

inside the moon is a little rabbit
who only wants to eat a bag of chips
down to the crumbs. i do not know
what i need to get out of this mess.
sometimes i try to get the rabbits
to eat my credit cards but then
how will i pair for my bag of air?
when i was small i imagined money
like oranges. like a rind & then a 
stinging fruit. i went through a few phases
of "what i want to be when i grow up."
a veterinarian & then a movie director. 
both of which were always out of my league.
i took a career test in middle school
& the match it gave me was "magician."
in some ways, i have lived up to that.
i pull rabbits out of hats & glove boxes 
& the moon. i work in illusion. here is
my normal person face. here is my healthy body.
i never was very good at math. 
when asked to solve for "x" all i ever find
are worms. they have their own language
for poetry & their own language for 
mundane speak. i know it is going to rain
but not enough to really get my bones
like i need it to. i remember once
when i had all these ideas about the forest
we were driving & the rain made a moon
of us. i drowned i think. emerged a different
kind of fish. my algebra comes out wrong. 
a goose where a number should be.
a television with a video game. never enough air.
the credit card, a chip bag we can't
get open. rabbits in the sink. in the tub.
the magician i am supposed to be, tapping
on the window at daybreak.