i think of you when i sprinkle salt
on fresh tomatoes.

i don't want to fall in love
again-- 
i don't want bruised lungs 
or to pretend i'm not 
a dying-girl so you can love me--
but i want to remember how
i did love you--
& to love someone is irrevocable--
crawl back up the steps
to a tree house full of chess pieces--
does this make me your knight
or your pawn?--
eat sour apricots from your garden
barefoot & soil knees--
ignite another firework 
to try to crack the surface of
the night sky--
we hunted so desperately 
for stars-- laid our bodies
out on a rooftop & prayed for
assumption--
what if love was as easy as
sleeping next to each
other in a bunk bed?
i couldn't write enough 
love poems to undo
the knots in our own spines-- 
there wasn't enough 
duck tape to keep
putting myself back together every
time you took too much of
me-- 
i turned myself into a 
package of fruit snacks--
an egg sandwich with mayonnaise 
the way you liked it--
what do you eat for breakfast now?
do you still put cream cheese on
your waffles?
do you pull her hair when 
she kisses you?
do you remember passing
fruit loops to each
other sitting on
a rock by the ocean--
where the sea gulls
laughed about how 
for humans part of loving is
a performance--
a candle lit dinner 
from the bed sheets--
a competition to see
how many new ways you can present
your body to someone else--
it's hard to love yourself
when every part of you
exists so much for
another person--
i'm a human not a video tape--
pull out my innards
like the flicker
of a still-photographs
you arranged to make
a girlfriend--
i knew you long enough to 
remember how the
crease of your back looks
in the dark of a bedroom--
the silhouette of your
face back lit by
lamp light--
we haunt a park pavilion--
kiss me tree torso & monkey
bar--
i remember you as our legs
entangled in a back seat--
a locked basement door--
& when i stand slicing
ripe yellow & orange 
tomatoes from my counter
i sprinkle them with
salt like you used to &
something about
them tastes so much like
us.