when i am/was a girl

when i am/was a girl
i had orchids grow behind my
ears & i heard you like the sound
of wet fingers on the rims of
wine glasses--
you couldn't teach me how to
keep my fingers from singing--
i un-hemmed my skirts
to rip the seams 
off a sky line set out
for sneakers-- were
these strings shoe laces or bows?
what do you know about wearing
toad skin? 
what do you know about
eye-liner?
girls laughed as i painted
waist lines around my eyes 
in sapphire & evergreen &
bruising plum--
i learned to wash my arm pits
with hand soap in the sink--
taught myself not to
eat with both hands--
mastered chewing
small bites of naked salad--
i have/had always been scared of my
boy knees-- that they would give me away--
so i wear/wore leggings
& cut myself
free of brown pony tails--
i use the old scrunchies for sling shots--
pluck out stars like stones to 
shoot at my neighbor's windows
at night when i get to feel 
like romeo--
my leg hair has often
grown in to a place to
escape to-- the rain forest
on the walls of my bedroom--
i get to sleep there & no one
asks about my boy knees--
i cut patches to plant tomatoes
& peaches-- press the pits
into the palms of my hands
to remind myself how much flesh
we can grow back in a day &
how many razor rows i have
tilled over the prickly hair of
my knees in an attempt
to make a girl--
have/had been so much like
the neck of the orchid--
listening in a soft bell--
drinking softly 
from my feet-- i had/have
watermelon painted nails &
smudged mascara on my index fingers--
i have/had acquired a skill
of disappearing into
leg hair-- they'll find you 
& ask you what you are &
i'll reply i have/had been
a girl but i
m proudly the ripped
hem of the pleated
skirt of the skyline-- the soft
tongue of an orchid--
& the untamed thicken of my knees