i lost the sun down the drain 

this faucet-running
morning
i dropped
the sun down the drain--

a beacon
of light protruded from
the sink & i reached 
my hands inside
desperately to
grab at it--
i felt warmth &
the tips of my fingers
brushed her fuzzy surface--

for those of you
who didn't know
the sun feels a lot
like an over-ripe peach

i thought 
to myself
oh what oh what
will everyone think
of me when 
i tell them i lost 
the sun--

all the while
the song-birds
outside
my window gossiped
about the stupid-girl
who thought
she could hold
a star without trembling--

i say
but i'm a boy-

& they laugh &
laugh
 
& i ask them if
any of them has a voice
to trade--
that i would be willing
to barter with
the sun once
i dislodged it 

they whispered
me down the alley--
up the street
through everyone's
feathers--
through the piles
of leaves collecting 
in the gutters

they swallowed their voices
whole 

& told me
no--no--
no bird
songs here-- 
little girl 
keep
your voice in your
mouth where it belongs--

i closed the blinds
which didn't do much seeing
as the sun wasn't
in the sky
but at least 
the window muffled
the chatter of birds

i turned on the flashlight
of my iPhone & flashed it
in the face of the star
in my sink

i took a deep breath 
& got on all fours--

it's amazing the spaces
you can fit
in when you believe
in the smallness of your
body--

i crawled in &
around me the drain 
expanded--
the walls--
the aqueducts--
great stone arches 
encircling
me as i learned how to
fall

the sun caught me--
her arms open
her body soft & blushing--

i told her 
but i'm a boy

& she laughed &
fed me handfuls of
light & cooed 

i know i know
i know