take a deep breath

don't tell me
to breathe-- 

there isn't enough
air left for
all of us-- 

i don't
want to breathe
i want sink-- 

watch bubbles 
bound out
my mouth--
break on the 
ceiling
of water-- 

there there right
there was the last
bit
of air we had left

sink--
i want to hold my
breath 

& sink
like i learned
in swim lessons--
skin turned
to stone at the
chlorine murky
pool bottom--

there 
i would think to
myself 
"i will break
the world record
right now
& no one will 
see me"

hold everything
for 22min23sec--

clouds stop
moving-- they
hold hands--
they know this is
the end--

rivers 
freeze-- rejecting time--
they steal red numbers
from digital clocks--
eat the sound 
of every alarm--
there is no splashing--

rain hangs like 
your grandmother's
pearl necklace
& her matching clip-on
earrings--

birds plummet
the air stolen from
beneath their wings--
tucked now
under my pillow

beetles & butterflies
hit pavement--

it was me 
it was me
i took all the 
air & harbored 
it inside myself
where it could do
no more harm-- 

don't tell
me to breathe--
i don't want to
breathe--

i'm just saving
up enough air to glide--
i want to be
a tiny bat echo-locating
my body between trees-- 
silhouette watched
voyeuristic by
the moon--

beneath
my rib bones
is a grotto 
abandoned by
the tides--
moss creeping along
each skinny rung 
of bone-- 

here 
the wind swirls
angry-- smacks 
against the corridors
of my body--
ringing marrow--
these bells-- 

the wind-- the gale 
groping for an exit--

don't tell
me to breathe-- don't 
tell me to breathe--
there's no enough
air-- 

there's not
enough birds to
fall limp--
or dragonflies dive 
bombing on roofs--

there goes the leaves
now-- all of them
at once-- there
wasn't enough air
to keep them so green

there i am--
i used to be so 
green--

burnt orange boy--
cascading from 
my mother's gnarled
limbs--
her femur bare--

as i fall 
she cries
"could i not keep
just one leaf"

i don't want to
breathe
i don't want to 
i don't want to

my fingers 
dig into my
knee caps--
wind thrashes
& in one valiant
thrust
every piece of
me becomes
one cadence--

wind strumming
vein--it's me
the tuning fork
& metronome 

click-click-click
faster now
faster now

i gasp for
air