my skeleton remains ajar

my eyes: glass door knobs--
behind which one is your god?
choose carefully
you only have a 50/50 chance
of opening to find him--
curtain-less window
of heaven where warm
snow collects on
the tops of your feet--
yes, of course, come
inside that's what
door knobs are for--
you don't have to take
off your shoes 
but you do have to be
barefoot
i don't believe there 
is anything
worth keeping outside of
my body--
what made you
start searching
behind shut doors?
was it the chanting
of the 
Our Father--
a pray so deep inside
you that you pray it 
with your silence--
oh you let the quiet
in-- wet & dripping--
weep morning dew--
melt-- yield 
to the call of the void
the mother language--
the sensation
of falling behind door
number 1--
you  were wrong
of course--
you would always be 
wrong--
grip the glass door knob
to keep from falling 
in-- what did you
think our lover's
bodies are meant for?
What color did you
think your god would be
when you dug him
from out behind 
my eye lids--
it's amazing
what boys will do 
with their beliefs about
virginity--
a necklace around
my waist--ring
after ring cuffing
my fingers-- don't move
you are now a bell--
oh & if i'm a bell
the least i can do
is ring the silence 
out of us
if only you would
fuck me-- but my
body was ajar-- 
blown open & closed by the 
breeze--
you made me a key
so that without you
i could could come home--
no i don't take off my
shoes at the 
door but yes
i am barefoot & when 
i grip my own glass
eyes i open to 
a tabernacle-- this is
where we drip
his blood back down into
the earth--
you don't believe 
me when i tell 
you there are parts
of myself where
there's no other 
language but that mother
tongue-- that 
wholeness of nothing--
i put my finger
to your
mouth & say
shhhhhhh listen
there it is-- growing--
it takes time--
each ivy tendril--
unlock--unhinge-- my
rib cage was a 
colander-- drain
out what's left of
your virginity
in my sink-- here's
a towel-- let's
get this over
with now-- here 
open both of my eyes
what's behind door number 2?
there it is
it's only you--
your reflection
your god-- you planted
yourself in my jaw bone
so that you could
take root--
when i stop 
loving
you i'll hold a burial:
teeth
& mandible
in the front
yard-- 
my god will 
be a crab apple tree
my soul 
my skeleton
remains ajar
for me to come
home when i please--
desperate,
you swallowed
my front door keys
oh, 
you can stop gazing
into my eyes like that--
like heaven 
is going to let 
you in--