DNA

is it something
in the twist of
my DNA?
the metal slide from
the park--
are we
descending?
jacob's ladder
of nucleic
acids-- proteins
& lipids--
the instructions
for our bodies
printed on a spiral
staircase--
follow me up
to the attic-- 
i packed
the blue suite case full
of stuffed animals--
we can clear
a space on
the floor & play--
oh god
where did you
write
my brown brown
eyes & where
did you write
the lonely 
ache beneath 
my fingertips--
is there someone
else on this 
stair case
or am i here alone
going up & up
& up
or is it down?
what direction
do your memories
whorl?
whose ladder
do you use
to change the 
porch light bulb?
i am someone
to be coiled into--
someone to open
the windows for--
i have resolved 
that it is something
in my DNA--
in the smallest
foot steps
left in my chest
that makes me like
this-- like corkscrew
promises--
like throbbing
heels under my
chest--
a man in boots 
pacing each rib--
i am a sleepless 
banister--
an anxious
rung-- this ladder
is made of guitar strings
& deoxyribose--
i inherented   
the sugar phosphorus 
backbone from my
father-- he 
in stubborn &
far too
attached to the 
persistence
of ceilings--
perched on
a cloud with a quill
pen an angel 
wrote us--
his scroll curling--
helix of our
headaches-- gyrating
us into souls--
do you keep
your brown eyes 
in the attic?
have you ever
tried
to remove your DNA?
i have--
took a bottle
opener to my
throat-- scraped
& scraped as
the double 
helix writhed &
squirmed-- stab of
my own finger nails
trudging through 
flesh i begged
for it to come free--
un  write
un write me--
i want to climb
the attic stairs
alone--
run away again--
pack the blue suit 
case &
travel  up &  up
or was it down?
what direction do
your brown eyes
spiral?
were you caught 
in a whirl pool
of covalent bonds?
i distrust
these molecules--
i distrust 
ladders & the
act of descending--
help me i want
to take them out--
i want to live
blankly & void--
i want to live
without instructions--
a loose body dangling
in uncertainty--
the metal slide at
the play ground--
cold in the autumn--
always wear long
pants-- it
makes sliding down
easier--
i'll pile my DNA outside
my body as mulch
& the neighborhood
children with play--
swing higher than ever
before-- land--
snap hydrogen bonds--
slowly i will dissemble--
become a molecule
to be swallowed--
i hope when i 
drop i land facing
the sky-- you
told me that every night
you look
for Orion's belt--
i want to gaze 
with that comfort
of knowing that
there's someone
else with brown
eyes & staircases
still
trapped 
just beneath
the skin--
twist with me--
grab me 
DNA handfuls--
the attic is
waiting--
up & up
or was it down?