the taste of snow

being snowed in
alone makes
me think of
everyone you
could//should
be snowed in
with-- 
there you are,
sitting on
the kitchen counter
while i chop 
yellow & red cherry
tomatoes-- there
you are again
standing on
the ceiling-- you
always were the type
to laugh a gravity--
i'll be down here--
pacing down
the spines of
these books--
ricochet of
my own thoughts
off the white walls--
it was subtle 
but the house itself
was my body &
your body &
the knees of my
grandmothers--
the rear view mirror
of blue jeep that
feel off years ago--
i opened the bathroom
window to feel
the brisk 
blush of air as 
the foundation
left earth--
look what you've done--
you've gone & 
un-tethered us--
no creek or snap
of pipes-- this is
a certain type
of being alone--
this is the kind of  
alone where the faucets
start to 
know your name
& the shower head
bleeds meteors--
hot fire rocks down
the drain--
i wash myself
in comets that leave
bruises on my
back-- you come
in with me & push
me against the 
misty wall--
bite my neck
like licorice rope--
i need to know
if you were here
tonight or 
if i conjured you
from my own loneliness--
if you were really 
there-- meandering
across the ceiling--
pointing out
the spider webs
full of dried
moths-- 
i have been thinking
about how 
this snow changes 
me-- the kind
of terrified nostalgia--
i see myself
as a little girl
on all fours crawling
across
the backyard--
i am also a fox  
or a wolf--
i see myself
building a snowman
for a father--
he has one course  
red mitten
& a fleece scarf--
he spits out bottle
caps that get lost
in the driveway--
she eats snow
from her bare pink
hands-- like cotton
candy & from
the window
i imitate her--
taste steel 
& aluminum foil--
was that you on
the third floor?
were you walking 
back & forth?
come down here
& wrap yourself
in covers with
me-- we don't 
have to remember who
we are to each other--
we'll swallow
snow & watch
ourselves
becoming 
more alone as
the window 
peels off our
front step--
oh how vivid
the sun will look
when she finds her
way out from
behind the 
grey-- i hope
you're here
when i wake up-- 
whoever you are