artificial 

recently i've had a hard time feeling real

i find my hands becoming sunsets at their
own will-- voice acrylic--

oil paint lips smearing all over my own wrists

was it you who made me this way?

turned me all

cherry cough drop & pine tree air freshener--
cellophane wrapped my body-- 

plastic pierce me 
o microwave goddess whose prayer is hum--

you count the freckles on my face like
head-up pennies for luck--

do i taste like spearmint? like
a stick of wriggly's gum?

what do you do to make yourself
feel real?

for me it's the water-- i take a shower
& assume that if i don't dissolve that 
i am likely a real

there is of course the possiblity
that the shower isn't real either--

or i slipped down a drain years
ago & this is just a memory you had
of me-- 

i used to keep tally marks

day by day by day

to measure the passage of time--
to ensure the moon did it's duty
& measured herself into nothing--

i think i think about
the moon so much because i sympathize--

i feel my body swelling-- taking up
the entire sky--

fingers pointing down my throat--
it was you who swallowed the stars
& was bold enough to smile--

until i was a fourteen year old girl
fading-- night furnace grinning me
into a sliver & a smirk--

how often do you get on your knees
anymore?

do you ever draw blood to see
if there's still rivers in you?
convinced it will come out blue
& syrup--

snowcone kiss me until i am sticky sleep--

i have come to the conclusion
that i am likely a hologram--

or

a series of tarot cards laying
face up on a wooden table 

or

a glint of light winking
off your rear-view mirror
as you adjust it on the highway home

i am not driving home--

my body was back there
laying next to you

you make me feel less artificial--

like bare feet 

like ice cubes

like a handful of bird throats

i want to walk in your voice 
& stay there--

leave my shoes by the door

when you kiss me
do i taste like spearmint?

when you touch me

i believe in the quiets 
of my own blood--

i turn off the lights--
straddle dark-- 

moon fade again 
beside you