blood

i watched the needle
go in this time

thin plastic tube 

my blood is
a really beautiful color--

like clay or flushed cheeks
or velvet cupcake--

not like a rose
because roses are over-used

there's something martian
about it--
like i could pull out
the syringe & pour 
onto the linoleum floor 
to make a planet--

i will need a space suite

would my blood look
different out of orbit? 

lunar even-- glowing
white--

saint catherine's milk
veins as they cut off her head--

i called you on the 
way home from the doctor's
because i know you hate 
having you blood taken too

you have thin veins
& the nurse moves the needle
in your forearm 

like a search light--

are your veins like
those little gravel roads
between the corn fields
behind our house?

the ones that shake the blue jeep
like a can of pennies--

i wanted to tell
you why they were taking
my blood--

that i take testosterone now
in little vials 

that my voice is a leaving me
& i hope you still recognize it
when i call 3 years 
down the road--

instead i listen to you
tell me about your blood--

what color is yours
when i fills little plastic vials?

i've always seen you 
as an deep purple man-- 
maybe sapphire like the creek water
when the sun hits it just right--

is there silt & loam?

when they're done
i always ask
"is that it?"

as the nurse in teal scrubs 
collects the vials on the counter--

i wanted to pick them up

i want to slip the tubes in
my backpack

i bet they were warm--

i bet they were oceans--
there was a wave in there--

the kind that knocks you 
down & fills your mouth
with salt--

i would have found
somewhere to pour them out

maybe even just the bathroom sink--

i wouldn't tell you this
but i liked the
way the needle felt this time--

for you
i'll lie 
& say that i hated it

just like you with your
thin veins--

are they large enough 
for us to swim?

drenched in clay--
martian maroon bodies--

before i called you 
i sat in my car--

running my fingers gently
back & forth across 
my forearm where the needle
had been--

next time they take your
blood-- steal the vials--

let yourself swim--

oh, what of mars is 
still in us?