confectionery cottages 

i think i understand the witch
(the one from hansel & gretel)

i hover over a hot tray
of chocolate chip cookies & brownies
waiting for them to cool
spatula in my hand

i think of what my therapist
asked me:

do you think you make things
for other people because
you can't enjoy them yourself?

& i'm imagining the witch

she's kneeling in the forest brush 
with all kinds of candy 
set out in buckets

does she remember what peppermint tastes like?

does she bake each brick of 
soft sponge cake & angel food
with a kind of love only
expressed by the act of mixing batter?

she walked out one day into
the woods & was determined 
to be alone

she chose a clearing for
it's lack of bird-sounds & 
the dead oak tree--
slouching arms that snapped 
easily as she tore
them off one by one 

for valentines day 
i like to make truffles 

i love the delicacy of each 
soft malleable sphere--
the tablespoon of espresso
& the vanilla extract

over-coats of white &
dark melting chocolates 

i used to make them for boys
i was trying to be in love
with-- let them lick my fingers 

fed them & told them about
the house i would build
in the woods--

the one with gingerbread shingles
& royal icing hinges

did she ever have a lover?

maybe that was so long ago
that she doesn't remember
what their skin felt like
against hers

maybe she remembers their
favorite recipe
sobbing quietly into 
a batch of thumb-print cookies

she won't eat them because
they belonged to her

maybe her lover was a witch too--

scraggly brown hair &
green finger-nails

together they'd hover
over cauldrons-- steam
fogging on her eye-glasses 

they'd muse over 
new ways to frighten 
the town's children

when they parted ways the witch
knew that she wanted
to bury herself so deep
in the forest that 
no one would ever
love her like that again 

on occasion 
the walls of my bedroom 
grown into trees

thick taiga forest

doorknob becoming
a bird beak

i lay out my plans
for my confectionery cottage

she didn't want 
to lure her lover back into
her life-- 

she wanted to take revenge 
against someone for all the love
she had put cakes &
pies & sweets

children would be easy

i leave cookies
out on counters for
my housemates to eat

i want to know if they 
see a witch in me

do i want to eat them?

did the witch really
want to devour the children 
or was she just trying 
trying to fill them up
like she couldn't fill herself

make hansel as round & thick
as a ripe plum rolling
on the wooden table

did she wonder how
after so much food he could still
be so bony?

if she was a cannibal 
i like to think that it was
out of a craving to 
feel connection someone again 

i won't eat you
i swear i won't eat you

but i wouldn't blame
you if when i go to
take out the banana bread
you push me into the oven 

did the witch
weep from the inside?

hair singing

come inside the oven
with me

we'll eat each other 
& not leave any crumbs