holes punched in the drywall,

david/goliath & dead flies

 

the walls were asking for it

with their primary colors

& the peach blushing corridors.

sometimes i would put

my ear to sides of the living

room & hear a heart beat

dropped down on the floor of the basement

or was that the stones flooding?

the christmas decorations up

on stilts & young david (slingshot

in hand) pacing with the water

rising up to his ankles.

flies congregate beneath

the warm white glow of

my overhead light.

i’ve thought about hitting

things when i’m angry

& i’ve followed through on it

on occasion. there’s still

a hole next to the downstairs

bathroom where you made a fist

& struck. i don’t blame you.

goliath’s legs

were everywhere, hiding behind

the walls of our farm house.

phantom & thick. ear to the wall

he’d exhale & prickle all the

hair on my neck & i’d have

to go wash myself in the kitchen sink

with the other utensils.

he’s a symbol for paganism

(says the priest) who just happens

to also be behind the drywall.

i put an air conditioner

in the window & now flies climb

through it. i can’t imagine what

makes them want to climb between

fan blades to get into my bed room.

i stamp them into the walls,

bodies crushed & contorted.

it’s cathartic but i feel terrible

afterwards. david hurls a stone at

my head & i duck so it flies

out the window & hits someone else’s

windshield. i don’t tell them.

you tell me i should have let

them know but that’s because you’re

the better brother.

there’s always a better brother

in the bible story.

did i mention david is also a fly

in this story?

he stands upside down

beneath the ceiling lamp,

eyes fixed on me when i turn off

the light to try & sleep.

did you make a hole in

his shins? the giant as tall

as the pine tree in the back yard.

it’s best to take out

your anger on smaller things

you know? you’re going

to knock the house off its feet

next time. pick up

my heart from the floor of

the basement if you hear of it,

it’s hiding from david, it doesn’t

want to feel guilty again.

i smash an opening large enough

to climb into, he’ll protect me,

we’ll make offerings to false gods.

don’t look for us. i’m leaving

you the flies.