painted stones

i've lied so still lately that 
god keeps mistaking me for a smooth stone.
she comes down to paint my
back with the prickly dollar-store 
brushes. i flinch, but i let her.
you get used to the texture of paint.
i want to ask her to paint me blue
or green. we all know she's a tall
woman with brown eyes but i wasn't
expecting her in the broad daylight.
encounters with god are imagined to 
be more dramatic, stage lighting &
the full moon blaring in distance, 
but, there she came around the back of the house
with a sweating pitcher of unsweetened
iced tea-- asking if i wanted mine
with lemon. yes, of course, god
is even welcoming to a stone. you tell me 
that people are hiding the painted
rocks all over the valley. some of
the stones have sayings like 
"smile today" or 
"you're worth something."
you tell me that you planted them 
all along the trail on 
the hike up Glen Onoko falls but by
the time you hiked back
down people had already picked them up.
i go there myself, in god's pocket--
warm against her thigh. she keeps
running her finger across my forehead.
she realized by now that i was a human 
but she let me pretend now
that we'd gotten so far. she took 
me out & nestled me between a patch
of moss & the knotty roots of 
an adolescent oak tree. 
i hoped that someone would pick 
me up quickly, like the painted
stones to planted up the mountain.
i thought you would be confused 
if i asked if you'd checked if
any of those turned out to be people.
i waited until dusk when the trail 
was speckled only with the foot
steps of animals. i have yet
to determine if a stone should pray,
so i stood up-- paint chipping off.
god was still there, of course.
she's patient for revelations.
calm-like, she came up the path 
with her brush ready, asking if
i wanted to be painted again.
we go home. this time i walk &
we pick up a pink stone with a butterfly
sticker & a red stone that resembled 
a great blood vessel. she turned them
over in the dim light of the kitchen
table-- takes out her reading glasses.
we remain quiet. in the morning
she was gone & i stood in the bath tub
while i peeled off the rest of
the paint.