i wanted to text you when i found
out that they'd confirmed Kavanaugh. 

i play white noise in my headphones.
it's not a metaphor, i do this.

i wanted to text you when i found
out that they'd confirmed Kavanaugh.

i play white noise & it comes 
in like a flock of benevolent gnats.

the type that eat everything,
whiteness, the insatiable angry mouth. 

i want to belong somewhere with less
teeth & trees. the green skink

running from us into the brush
outside the library. he knows 

what to do. i wanted to text you.
i really did but i couldn't. 

i have told people i've been raped
so many times times that it's emptied

itself of emotion. a 17 year old boy 
grabbed a fist full of my 14 year old hair

& held me down & told me i liked it.
justice has many hands & i know

all of them as fists. i want to have
something to do, but i don't. 

i don't know what i'll do. to some
degree i exist with the knowledge that 

the boy who raped me could be justice.
i play white noise. i do. i think i have to. 

the company i keep by a window;
a plastic bottle cap, an un-answered phone

call from my father. a news alert
A New Conservative Majority Bench