first aide on a shadow

when i came back to my apartment 
all the shadows were awry.

some of them were wrong colors,
like the bookcases that glowed
hot crimson on the floor &
the ceiling fan bleeding mauve.

i turned to look at my own
on the hardwood floor & found
it had come apart into thousands
of pieces, fragments 
across the floor like a dropped plate.

this had never happened
to me before. i wanted to call
my mom to ask what to do about
wounded shadows but i didn't
want her to think i had done
something wrong to bring 
this upon them.

i google searched
first aide on shadows
& found unhelpful Youtube
tutorials of people 
getting on all fours & colors
all the shadows in 
with sharpie marker.

the shadow of the ceiling fan
was kaleidoscope colors 
so i shifted me hands through it,
the texture of a bowl of grapes.

caressing gently the darkness
started to come back into
the shadow, so i continued,
i whispered to it

you're doing so well,
you're a wonderful shadow
& i love you.

& it returned back to normal.
i wanted to tell someone 
that i was going to fix everything
but i was too embarrassed
to have let my shadows so 
sick in the first place.

as night fell i stepped out onto 
the porch to stand all in shadow,
my own still fractured all over.

kneeling down, i touched it
with two fingers & apologized 
for not helping it sooner.
i told it that i had been busy. 

each piece felt like slices
of a cantaloupe or a melon,
sweet & wet, i walked
back inside to re-assemble 
my shadow by 
the kitchen light.