inflatable mattress

i wanted to train myself
to be able to sleep anywhere
so i bought an inflatable mattress,
made lists of all the places nearby 
where i should sleep, starting
with the 7/11 up the street.
plugged the pump in the corner 
& watched the soft grey cushion 
fill with air. people went about
there everyday business, most pretending
not to notice & i curled up next
to the soda machines that groaned
& groaned & groaned. somewhere 
through the night at least one person always
gets in bed with me, at the 7/11
it was an old woman holding 
a carton of milk. she offered 
me some but i declined & then 
the manager joined us & told
us stories about his family
back home in an apartment 
in queens, the smell of tomato sauce
on their walls. we held each other
like only people can do who share
a temporary bed & i realized that
everyone's skin has a softness
to it, as if we were all filled with air.
the next place i went with the mattress
was the parking lot by the grocery store,
i had tried the store itself but
the bed got too crowded, people were
too eager to stay in bed with a stranger there.
in the parking lot i unscrew the light bulbs
of the lamp lights to make the place darker
& more cozy. the cart man who's job 
it is to wrangle stray shopping carts 
got in & told me that he should get 
one of these inflatable mattresses
in case some nights he doesn't feel 
like going home. we press into 
the mattress so hard with our conversation
that it begins to float & we join
the weak city clouds, mixed 
with smog, the grey of the mattress
blending in seamlessly with
the texture of midnight sky.
he tells me we should never
come down. we should sleep here 
forever & tell each other stories 
about all the lives we wanted
to live. i want to kiss him 
in a way i've never known before
not like a lover but like
a limb of my own 
i ruin it by telling him
that we do have to go down
that i have to go back 
that i have more places 
i want to sleep & he doesn't cry
but the mattress lowers
gentle & slowly back down
where we met in a parking space
under the phantom glow
of the Stop & Shop sign. 
he gets up & goes back 
to herding the carts, pretending
like he didn't see me 
& we hadn't gone anywhere
at all.