finally

cars with their headlights off
at night, delete themselves.

ghost vehicles, passing between
other cars, made of cold air. 

dislodged from everything,
slowly becoming part of the backdrop,

i imagine them sinking into 
the asphalt, like descending a 

staircase. i consider turning
my car's headlights off

to see what happens, to see
if maybe that slight adjustment

could alter everything.
finally invisible, finally flying,

only an underground kind of flight
below the street like the movement

of the subway, the way you can
sometimes look down at a metal grate 

in the sidewalk & feel how close
how close the shuttering is.

i walk into the basement 
without trying to turn on the light,

wading into the dark,
it has a kind of thickness like

if i held up a spoon i could
scoop the black & eat it,

a coarse jelly. i imagine
the basement full of cars 

with their headlights off, all
of them racing towards me,

only i won't see them because
i'm stubborn & i won't turn

the light on, just a white switch
a simple click but i want that

lingering, treading absence,
i want that darkness down there

to envelop me, keep me safe,
few of us will admit that

we don't always want to know the truth,
that we turn off the headlights 

of our cars & think of being invisible
for a few seconds, 

envision collision, smack of metal
bodies into each other, one body

unseen, reaching the floor of 
the basement, feeling for the switch

& finally throwing light into 
the room, the fear there.