i was a good fly trap.

i grew in boy's closets 
& bloomed in the cupboards beside
boxes of never-to-be-eaten saltines.
sprouting around door frames 
sometimes i would live whole lives
unnoticed by other creatures.
poised always with my mouth open 
i whispered to the flies.
cupping nectar in my jaws 
i made promises 
telling the flies that if they landed here
they would never go hungry again 
that they wouldn't have to scour 
for sweet flecks of light
the rest of their lives.
flies live approximately 28 days
& they taste better the younger they are.
as they dissolved in my throat
i would say tell me the story of your life
& most of them didn't know they 
were dying so they did
their words wobbling as they were digested.
they said tomorrow i will eat apple cores
& i think i might try digging deeper in the trash.
i was a horrible machine wasn't i?
i could feel each prong of my mouth
how my face became more & more like a cage 
with each body i ate.
i wanted to crawl inside there myself 
to see what i was doing to the flies.
they told me about the taste
of all the fruits & the meats 
i couldn't devour with my mouth.
my terrible mouth. 
i dreamed of berries bursting 
between my teeth &
a true tongue to catch all the colors.
i believed i was swallowing 
the essence of all those insects
& i took their buzzing into me.
while other creatures slept 
i stared out feeling that thrum.
i had fantasies of eating humans
& i thought that if i could fit one inside me 
i might feel their lives 
that i might learn how to uproot 
& walk the length of the ceiling
instead of growing just
to open my mouth & wait for 
the lies to come speaking for me. i didn't want
to hurt them. if i was a human 
i would cook hundreds of meals
a day. i would let flies frolic 
all over my kitchen. 
i would share my food with them.
i say this now but maybe being a human
would have made me greedy. maybe it was best
i lived green & small. 
yes i want you to send me back
as a fly. i have needed to know 
the depths of their bodies.
i carried their vibrations.
yes god make me the fly
with the biggest mouth 
you can find. i want to eat
& then i want to feed myself
to a fly trap & tell the fly trap
the story of my life
tell them nothing makes you hungrier 
than eating one animal
over & over & hoping
that it will feed you.
strawberries guava oranges
i'm going to eat myself to death.