instead of catching on fire

the house catches into hummingbirds
a whole hoard of them
making pink where there door knobs 
& hallways. i want to sleep until i get my feather back.
i want to wake up flickering & orange.
the humming birds drink nectar from all my pores
& one perches in my mouth. 
someone calls the fire department 
who doesn't know how to deal with 
an emergency like this. all the men 
in their fire suites stand out in the front lawn
& watch the humming birds--
they think to themselves
i have actually never seen a humming bird in person.
pulling the covers over my head,
the covers are green green leaves.
me, a droplet of dew making my way
back towards the soil. i want 
to put the moon under my tongue.
i put the moon under my tongue that's
where it must have gone. 
the fire men have an invisible tea party 
on the lawn while they watch.
they are so stupid. they should know
that the humming birds demand attention
or they get worse. i compliment 
each individual animal-- telling them
i love their souls-- 
lying that i can peer under their plumage 
to see each glittering chamber.
they pick up our fish tanks & carry them off
into a cloud where they're probably
going to eat the gold fish 
& teach the beta fish to fly. beta fish
would make good tropical birds.
some of the humming birds pry open my books 
& slip inside. they flatten themselves out
to slices-- book marks. they want 
to be taken to a library. i'm crying
& only feathers are coming out.
i'm hungry but all there's left to eat
is nectar from my own skin.
i am a bush of dripping. i am glowing
in a house all alone. the fire men
play with matches. the fire men 
decide they don't take care of birds.
they're off to plant kittens
in clouds to rescue-- no more of this 
humming. so i hum, genuinely hum 
& the birds hum back. i don't remember
what song it is i hum but they
they it into their beaks, hungry
for my sounds. i tell them i want
to catch fire with them--
that i want to be a humming bird hovering
over the debris of this bed room.
the closet breaths. 
the end table is a wolf with a light bulb
in its mouth. all the rest of my family sleep 
through the fire-- become ash 
in their beds. the fire men, gone 
i alone teach my humming birds to lay down
in the soot.