there's just a diving board

in the middle of the yard.
no pool,
we didn't have enough for that 
so dad bought the diving board &
told us to go have fun.
solitary in the middle of the yard.
diving board surrounded by grass 
& the hum of carpenter bee who eat the garage.
my brothers & i rubbed globs of slick sun-screen 
on each others shoulders--
put on bathing suites.
we took turns standing at the end of the board,
shimming closer to the ledge.
my brothers & i were all scared of jumping
even on those afternoons we walked
to the public pool.
i had a fear i would jump &
all the water would fly out of the pool--
i didn't used to be scared of that but 
boys started chanting that i shouldn't jump
because i was too fat.
i'd try to point my toes to slip in the water
as quietly as possible.
no matter the splash they would laugh.
or, maybe worse, there would be a prehistoric
shark waiting beneath the surface & he might 
snatch me from the air the instant i touched
the chlorine stinging water.  
we were scared of 
our back-yard diving-board for different reasons.
one brother believed the board
was the ledge of a building. he cried
& turned back, saying 
he liked his life & didn't want to die yet.
on the ledge, another brother 
wept the he couldn't turn into a bird.
he crouched down & dad had to come outside
to get him off the diving board.
i was the least scared because i'm the oldest.
i mostly go stand on the diving board
at night. i won't jump because if i do
it will all turn to water--
everything: the garage full of scrap wood,
the pile of red stones by the big tree, recycling cans
& the big tall tan house we live in.
i'm bold, so i bounce up & down 
on the diving board, feel the plastic wobbling.
i consider all the water
& wonder if i could 
hold my breath that long. 
i want to have fun with the diving board--
want to make a whole summer of it. 
each day i lead my brothers out to the yard
first thing in the morning 
so dad can see us before he leaves for work,
all of his sons standing on the end 
of a diving board. 
his brave sons 
who appreciate the diving board,
who won't get eaten in the deep end
of the public pool, and
who love the dirt enough to not turn
it all to water.